Honor, Forgive, Love

These three words seem simple to understand but are hard to apply. They are three small words that are very powerful!

We are living in a time when many people have lost the understanding of honor, we refuse to forgive, and true love is missing proper context. We are living in a time when many parents want to be friends of their children and the children don’t listen nor be told what do. We no longer do we teach them how to honor us as parents and/or adults, and even worse we’re failing to remind them of the promises in the word of God. Ephesians 6:1-4 declares, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Look at the promise for honoring our parents, things will be good for us and long life is guaranteed! Could this be one reason the jails and graveyards are filling up so quickly with our youth? Could this be why we hear of young people committing murders and being murdered in our nation each day? Could this be the reason young people are killing their parents, grandparents, family members, school mates and themselves?! Could it be because they have not taught them to honor, forgive and love?

Could they be angry for not having a father and missing their mothers? Could some of them be angry parents who use their children to unleash their fury? Could it be the children have been told what they will never become? What they can never do, attain or think? Could we have failed them by not helping them follow their dreams? Could it be by our forsaking of the word of God we have forsaken them? I am persuaded this is the case; you may not be convinced so lets’ look deeper.

The word honor means to prize, fix a value upon, to revere and to consider as costly. How do we teach our children we value? We first must be the parents to our children, when they are grown we can become their friends. We must not be afraid to tell them “no,” it will not kill them but it will give them an understanding of boundaries. We must not replace spending time with them for buying them substitute parent gifts; the cell phones, tablets, game consoles, shoes, clothes, hair, nails etc.  We have to sacrifice to time to teach honor!

Beating, cursing, demeaning and demoralizing them does not equal parenting nor is this discipline! This isn’t what should happen in our homes! We don’t have to beat our children down to discipline; God has blessed us with precious gifts, He expects us to build them up with proper correction, direction, care and guidance. Will there be times when corporal punishment will be used? Yes, but it should not be the first response.

When children are beaten too much it numbs them, making their hearts hardened and full of bitterness and anger. It can set them up to become statics for the system; foster care, juvenile correction, and prison. Now, I am no expert but I know what I see and what I have experienced through my life and the lives of people around me. Ephesians 6:4 says not to make your children angry but to bring the children up in the nurture (education/training/correction) and admonition (call attention to/warn) of the Lord. (Gen 18:19; Ex 12:26-27; Dt 11:19-21)

Now, to forgive means to let it die, dismiss, pardon, release and to set at liberty (free); it is like sentencing someone to die then overturning the sentence and setting them free! Forgiving declares the guilty innocent. But do we forgive like this? How are we the models for our children if we hold grudges, walk around bitter, and talk bad about those who hurt us (or have done nothing to us), what will they do?

Forgiving is a choice! We choose to release the offender from the wrong done to us, we choose let it go, and declare them innocent! Is it easy? No! This is why we so desperately need the Holy Spirit. He is vital to the life of the believer; He helps us in our weaknesses. He can help us forgive the molester, the rapist, the abuser, the thief, the slanderer, the liar, and every person who has wronged us. Without His help (the Holy Spirit) we cannot forgive the way we have been commanded to nor the way our Lord Jesus did and does.

Remember this, while Jesus hung on the cross dying for our sins those who put Him on the cross came and mocked Him. They had lied on him, spit in his face, pulled out His facial hair, had Him beaten beyond recognition, then had Him nailed to a cross (Isaiah 53; Rom 8:3; Matt 27; Luke 23). Jesus Christ, our Lord stop dying to ask the Father to forgive them because they did not understand what they were doing (1 Cor 2:8). Now, if Jesus could forgive why won’t we? Beloved of God, we must! God has commanded it and we must teach our children to forgive too.

Let’s talk about love; love has seemingly been redefined, nearly gone are the days when we did for others without desiring something in return; whether it hearing your name being called, receiving gifts, thank you etc., many of us look for something in return. But Jesus Christ gave His all on our behalf on Calvary’s cross all for the sake of love! If we gave in this manner there would be more selfless giving and less expectation of a return.

This type of love comes from the word agape, it means to love without expectation of return, it is a sacrificial love. This is the love which would not allow us to see our brother and sisters in need and pass them by. Love would not allow us to have this world’s good but shut our hearts to the need. Love would eliminate hunger, famine, poverty, and pride. This love has the power to solve the problems of the entire world.

This love honors, obeys and promotes the word of God! It does not have hidden agendas which are against the word (The Bible), but this love protects, fights for and defends the truth! This love will teach the word to children, children’s children, family, friends and foes. This word finds those in needs and can fill the emptiness of every life!

In this love there is no fear! 1 John 4:18 tells us, “There is no fear in love,” love that has been perfected cast our fear! Fear has the power to torment (bring punishment, correction and penalty), Om the cross Jesus Christ bore our sin, sickness and sorrows! He took the punishment that was for us so we could have peace (Isaiah 53). Now, we can be filled with this love and be bold as a lion! This love empowers and impacts, never pollutes or perverts. This love is holy, righteous, just and pure; yes, we can be filled with this love, we must be filled with this love, for it is when we receive and are filled with this love that we receive and become filled with the full of Jesus Christ (1 John 4:8)!

Honor, forgive and love; three small words which carry a great deal of power. Live them, teach them, preach and pray them. It is the least we can do for the next generation….

 Nanda Morris